CURSED!!

I was only 17 when I made a friend in my early college days. Within a short time we became buddies as if we knew each other way back. We are totally different people by thinking, nature, dreams, ideology, religion and lifestyle but yet we were like a replica personality. We laughed, cried, giggled, and shopped, partied and dreamed together.We saved each other from high tides of life. But life has brought a high tide of blames, ego and misleading beliefs that has destroyed the roots of our relation. My friend claims we are great friends and said we will be friends forever. It isn’t true. This has brought back all the losses I'd endured with my personal life and this is worse than the pain I felt when people tagged me Ugly, Untouchable, Abnormal and a Bull.

When any side of the walls of a relation gets cracked life moves on as life doesn’t wait for anyone. But when emotions gets a blow can that relation ever be the same ? Nothing had prepared me for this day when I have realized a close friendship is shaking. Whether it's been suddenly destroyed by an act of betrayal or fainted of being blamed and insulted. Few life changes are Unforgettable and Regrettable . My angel buddy, whom I just knew I could count on, doesn't really realize the need to respect and trust my dicision. Often the hardest part is accepting it and moving on. But how do I forget the pain when my friend broke my heart? To whom can I turn for advice when my ACE CARD and number one confidante who always had solutions for me has now become an ACHE? Yeah!!! ACE and ACHE. Just a letter ‘H' changed the whole definition.I guess 'H' stands for humiliation,hatred and hard ego.

My friend thinks I make excuses for everything, I CURSE people, I lie, I am arrogant, I m egoistic, I m filmy and melodramatic, I over react and look for opputunities to hang arround with swines. I lie to people about my self so that some man accepts me. Why the hells will I lie and if my parents are lying also they are not wrong. They are doing all that because they love me and are worried about me. I m not a person who had come in this world to tie my self with a man nor I am a looking for opportunities to meet stranger and observe what they will think of me when they meet me and then I will talk about my identity. I am true person with few principles in life and not being Mother Teresa. Yes I am egoistic and why I shouldn’t . I am forced to be egoistic by my surroundings. Even after saying so much my friend feels that I over react on small things and there is nothing to feel bad about. I hope my friend realizes that no one is a saint.Million times I have explained my friend that I don’t CURSE any one. I even warned that never put this tag on me and that will be the last .But someone important to me has so much of dirt and misconceptions about me which are now unbearable. I told my dad about my grieve and he said I m useless and cant maintain a single relation in life . Might be I am only bad and can’t maintain relations. But my moms said never allow anyone to come so close to your heart that in the end shakes your identity. I agree I never imagined my life without my friend even in my nightmares.

But nightmares do get tied up with reality.Even after insulting me so much my friend yawns and feels sleepy and laughs at me and my tantrums. I need to get a life.GOD!! Well my friend has crossed all limits .One thing is for sure I will never forget this date , the taunts and tags ever but my best wishes will always be with my friend as I have always LOVED U more than anything. I wish I had a punching Bag I could have punched all my frustration. But again UNLUCKY ME!!

Well I have bored my friend enough as all this are tantrums and boredom but I know I am boring my blog readers out here but I am sorry I have no other option to release my feelings out and I wanted to type that out. I had to speak this fire balls out of my heart as cant take the burden. SORRY :-( very sorry to disappoint my few friends who have always appreciate my blogs from day one.